What can't you do because you are a couple?

Hello! I'm excited about this post.

For my readers who are single and want a boyfriend or girlfriend..you will think twice before you get into a relationship after reading this.
But in general, everyone who has ever been in a relationship, whether you are a guy or a girl, you will understand exactly what I mean. The following information is all absolutely true. Nothing is invented. Nothing needed to be.

So.. lets get started. What can't you do because you are a couple?Beauty and the beast cannot..............

• You cant' say the wrong thing. You cant' use the wrong tone of voice. And you can't deny the wrong tone-of-voice accusation when it's made.
• You can't make jokes about bald spots, ear shape, or fat or flat or other area of sensitivity, even if you did not know until that moement that it was an area of sensitivity.
  
• you can't go out when the other person feels like staying home. You can't go to parties alone. You can't go out to just go out, because you can't not be considerate of the other person's worries about where you are, or their natural insecurities that you're not where you should be, or about where you could be instead. (I know alot of guys would agree with this one)
• You can't make plans without consulting the other person, particularly not evenings or weekends, or make decisions about leisure-time usage without consultation.
• You can't leave your (pick one) books, tissues, shoes, makeup, mail, underwear, work, sewing stuff, pornography lying around the house.
• You can't spend too much time on the computer..and stay off those chat rooms! You can't have email flirtations, even if innocent.
• you can't play computer solitare because the clicking drives the other person crazy...
• you can't talk on the phone when they're in the room without them commenting on the conversation, or trying to talk to you at the same time.
• Your best friend can't call after 10.00pm.
• You can't have the wrong laugh: too loud, too explosive, too inappropriate, too sily.
• You cant' make penis size jokes or laugh when others do.
  
• You can't talk about past relationships, or you can't NOt talk about past relationship, and can't refuse to reveal all the long-forgotten details when asked.
• You can't not "communicate your feelings" except when those feelings are critical which they ought not be.
• You cant' be too charming in public, especially to persons of the opposite sex (or same sex where applicable).
• You can't spend more than X amount of time talking to such persons, with X measured in nanoseconds.
• You can't socialise with your exes, even if you swear it's really over.
  
• You may not critcize the other person's driving, signalling or lane-changing habits.
• You may not suggest to the other person that perhaps it's time to look at the melway, or ask for directions.
  

After all of the above, love is obtained!

For more of what you can't do...read "Against love-A Polemic" by Laura Kipnis.

Where did I get this from? My pensions and investment lecturer included this article in our study notes, because after two divorces, he realised how badly it could affect your financial asset and future retirement funds! So...be prepared single people!

For all couples.......know that you are not alone. Many are suffering with you...

Thanks for reading.
XoXo