I love silence. I am the type of person who is not afraid of solitude. Solitude is very different from being lonely. Loneliness results from loss of a person, or a loss of purpose, but solitude is a peaceful reflective time. During my time alone, I like to read and write and surf the web. To be honest, I rather join a book club then go to a club. Before you press the X button on the top right hand corner of your screen, I do socialise. I just came back from a 2 games of bowling!
Having said that, I detest awkward silences. It leaves me feeling socially retarded. As a result, I have come up with ways to avoid it.
Awkward silences arises when you:
- don't know that person well, you have got past the "hello and how are you" and you have no idea how to leave politely, so you are stuck there. You smile awkwardly at that person. The person smiles back. You are not sure what to say or ask, because you don't want to sound "uncool" or too intrusive.
what I normally do: "oh this is awkward, we could talk about the weather or the sport, which do you prefer?" I like to tackle the problem head on.
- see someone you haven't seen for a long time. The conversation always start very enthusiastically with the "OMGGG" but after 2 minutes of "what have you been up to?" and "oh not much", conversation comes to a halt.
What I normally do: Oh, too bad I'm in a rush to goto___INSERT___, hope to see you soon!
- see an acquaintance and you have to talk to them, because your friends have not arrived and there is no one else to talk to at the party.
What I normally do: start off with greetings, university, traveling, AFL/cycling/tennis(male) /Twilight(female). Ask questions about their work or mutual friends. If the conversation continues, you can then move on to relationships. DON"T act too surprised, when you find out they do have a partner. That tends to make situations even more awkward. I would know. :(
I blame awkward silences on people who give you mono answers. "good" "nothing" "not much" "oh great" Such conversation killers. The general rule is, ask 5 questions, if they continuously give you mono answers, move on to someone else, or start talking about yourself. My ability to blab is impressive for someone who is considered quiet shy, if I feel awkward silences are inevitable, I would just keep talking and talking and talking. This is followed by nodding and smiling to any responses that come my way.
Xo Xo
Please feel free to leave any suggestions!
I hope that is some what helpful!
Look of the week: http://cupcakesandcashmere.com/
4 comments:
Solitude and Loneliness...such a fine fine line.
Me being me, I could care less about sounding uncool. Intrusiveness on the other hand, I get around with standard small talk. I don't like to ask personal questions, I think it works quite well?
Not much to say about meeting someone you haven't seen for a while. Really depends on the circumstances really, a short chat about how's life, or a long chat about everything from university, to work and to relationships.
Parties, I know not parties. I'd be the guy standing around looking out of it waiting for my friends to show up - I did that recently too.
Mono answers! My specialty!
hmmmm I think the only thing I do is say "AKWAAAAAARRRRD" extremely loudly after counting to 3 LOLz
Brilliant post! I like your suggestions.
i had an epic awkward silence today - made a scrubs joke about a bromance and it totally failed - will give u details in due course
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