Forever young.....

When you are young, you let your imagination fly.

I remember playing house under the table. Pretending that I was a mother, and trying to feed my baby and look after my husband (who is some poor boy next door, who only agreed to place house, so I would play cars crash games with him after). I had my fake tiny tea pots, stove and plates, and forcing any one I could find to eat scrap pieces of paper. (My noodles).

My cousin and I use to watch so many martial arts movies, and pretended we were xiao-lin temple monks. Fighting with broom sticks, and rulers down 5 floors of stairs. Everytime, I ended up crying, because he would accidently smack me too hard. But, the next day I would play the same game again.

What I hated was barbies. For some reason, they were abit useless to me. Dolls and bears, you can hug, trucks you can roll. Barbies are boring. I had one barbie, I chopped all her hair off, and made her bald, she was useless to me.

Did you ever play in the sand pit or the beach, build little castles, or pretend that they were food. Plants use to be vegetables to eat. When we were little, we could make anything come true. In a second, we could be at the beach, flying through space, exploring the jungle or shopping in a supermarket. We could be anyone that we wanted to be: mother, doctor, train conductor, teacher, policeman. All of which could be achieved without television, Wii, Playstation, Xbox or DS. It's called IMAGINATION.

What happened to us? At what point did it all become "Lame and Stupid". When we were little, we made "being employed" "studying", "cooking", "having a baby" so much fun! Why is it now the idea of doing all of the above bores us or freaks us out?

Most of you would say that we are simply being more realistic and critical, a process of growing up. But is it necessary a good thing? Being young is so much more fun! It releases our true spirit! Too bad plastic surgery cannot bring back real youth.

I hope you are all having a lovely weekend, I will leave you with.....

Apple on the stick, makes me sick, makes my heartbeat 2-4-6, not because you are dirty, not because you are clean, just because you kissed a boy behind a magazine....

What were your childhood games like? Leave a comment!

What can't you do because you are a couple?

Hello! I'm excited about this post.

For my readers who are single and want a boyfriend or girlfriend..you will think twice before you get into a relationship after reading this.
But in general, everyone who has ever been in a relationship, whether you are a guy or a girl, you will understand exactly what I mean. The following information is all absolutely true. Nothing is invented. Nothing needed to be.

So.. lets get started. What can't you do because you are a couple?Beauty and the beast cannot..............

• You cant' say the wrong thing. You cant' use the wrong tone of voice. And you can't deny the wrong tone-of-voice accusation when it's made.
• You can't make jokes about bald spots, ear shape, or fat or flat or other area of sensitivity, even if you did not know until that moement that it was an area of sensitivity.
  
• you can't go out when the other person feels like staying home. You can't go to parties alone. You can't go out to just go out, because you can't not be considerate of the other person's worries about where you are, or their natural insecurities that you're not where you should be, or about where you could be instead. (I know alot of guys would agree with this one)
• You can't make plans without consulting the other person, particularly not evenings or weekends, or make decisions about leisure-time usage without consultation.
• You can't leave your (pick one) books, tissues, shoes, makeup, mail, underwear, work, sewing stuff, pornography lying around the house.
• You can't spend too much time on the computer..and stay off those chat rooms! You can't have email flirtations, even if innocent.
• you can't play computer solitare because the clicking drives the other person crazy...
• you can't talk on the phone when they're in the room without them commenting on the conversation, or trying to talk to you at the same time.
• Your best friend can't call after 10.00pm.
• You can't have the wrong laugh: too loud, too explosive, too inappropriate, too sily.
• You cant' make penis size jokes or laugh when others do.
  
• You can't talk about past relationships, or you can't NOt talk about past relationship, and can't refuse to reveal all the long-forgotten details when asked.
• You can't not "communicate your feelings" except when those feelings are critical which they ought not be.
• You cant' be too charming in public, especially to persons of the opposite sex (or same sex where applicable).
• You can't spend more than X amount of time talking to such persons, with X measured in nanoseconds.
• You can't socialise with your exes, even if you swear it's really over.
  
• You may not critcize the other person's driving, signalling or lane-changing habits.
• You may not suggest to the other person that perhaps it's time to look at the melway, or ask for directions.
  

After all of the above, love is obtained!

For more of what you can't do...read "Against love-A Polemic" by Laura Kipnis.

Where did I get this from? My pensions and investment lecturer included this article in our study notes, because after two divorces, he realised how badly it could affect your financial asset and future retirement funds! So...be prepared single people!

For all couples.......know that you are not alone. Many are suffering with you...

Thanks for reading.
XoXo

SHOUT!!!! / TRY HARD LESBIAN EPIDEMIC

Firstly, an administrative update.

I intalled a shoutbox! So for those of you who do not have a blog or a google account, you can still leave a message.
If you do leave a message, I will reply! so come back to my blog, and read my response.

Secondly, why do we have an epidemic of TRY HARD LESBIANS?

I don't understand, why every time I open up my facebook, there in front of me, lies pictures of my female friends or female associates pretending to kiss, or actually kissing some girl! What on earth is happening? Houston, we have a problem.
My prudish brain cannot handle it. I fully support the gay community. But why are these straight girls trying to be gay??

So I waste 5 minutes racking my brains to figure out the mens rea behind such actions!

Idea 1: These girls are actually gay. Unlikely, because there are pictures of them kissing guys as well.
Idea 2: These girls are bi-sexuals. This will explain the first matter, but I've never heard that they have, are, will dated/dating/date girls.
Idea 3: This leaves me to the most pragmatic reason which is kissing girls have become a trend. But this begs the question, why doesn't the same trend apply to guys?
I went to a club once with a few of my friends. After a few drinks, one of my female friends decided to pash some other girl, to score free drinks from a few DIRTY guys watching.

So, this leads me to the conclusion that girls do it because it has become a trend, and that they want to impress the guys. Celebrities have taken advantage of this try-hard lesbian trend to become popular. Just like, ompa-lumpa tans and posh-spice hair cut, EVERYONE IS DOING IT. This is TWISTED. HOW how how...WHY WHY WHY.....on earth would you do such thing, my dear female peers????Guys will never plan and take you out to romantic candle light dinners regularly, book a nice holiday getaway, listen to you rant or go shopping with you. They know very well that girls find that 'hot'. Yet, it's not within their scope to try such things. SO WHY ARE YOU GIRLS TRYING SO HARD.

Society evolves in strange ways. Perhaps the next trend will be Try HARD FOBS. (fresh off the boat).......I can't wait! Teehee!

You have a BITCHY FACE.....NO OFFENCE!

Hello friends!

Indemnity clause: this blog is a joke, so if you are offended, I do NOT take any responsibility.

This blog addresses two issues: people with bitchy faces and the commonly used phrase "no offence".

Firstly, I think we can all agree that some people are born with bitchy faces. Before you start calling me a bitch for saying things like that, hear me out! I'm not saying they are a bitch, I'm simply saying that some people look mean. There are two types of bitchy faced people. One that is prima facie bitchy, people who are mean on the surface and are unapproacheable, but once you have a few conversations with them, their personality will rectify their bitchy looks. I think the phrase "don't judge the book by it's cover" applies here.
Enter Exhibit A: Megan Fox
Second type of bitchy faced people are the worst in my opinion. They are your mean looking people with an insincere smile plastered across their face. You are not sure if they are nice or not. You stand there really puzzled, thinking "well, their face says that they are mean, but I could be wrong, because they are smiling." Then, you start talking to them...they use words like "oh honey, darling, sweetie" and drop in phrases like "oh that's cute.." At that point, you are feeling pretty good, even silently praising yourself for giving Bitch faced Type 2 a chance. UNTIL......one day you eavesdrop into a conversation held by TYPE 2. BAMMMM, it hits you in the face, TYPE 2 complains, whinges, swears and DISCRIMINATES more than anyone you know, and they do it all behind people's backs.
Enter Exhibit 2
Before people start to question my choice of blog topics, I like to write about things that pop up in my daily life. It just happens that this morning I was inspired by this particular topic when I saw a bitchy looking 25 years old woman.
I'm sure she is a Type1.

If you happen to be a bitchy looking person...no offence intended!
Ok moving on to my second issue...do people who say "no offence" really mean it? I hope they do, or else ALOT of offending material have come my way.....I guess my point is, if you are going to say something mean, just say it and prepare to be attacked yourself. OR.....keep it to yourself, and bitch about it in a blog!


Thanks for reading!
XXOO

Surely the churches have better things to do......

I wasn't going to post anything this weekend..until I saw this on www.songofstyle.blogspot.com.. LOL...surely there is more important issues to discuss?

ADDICTED TO caffeine

Everyone is addicted to something. Asian guys tend to be addicted to Warcraft, Asian girls tend to be addicted to Asian guys. Australian television networks are addicted to horrible reality shows. 80% of people between the age of 16-25 years old are addicted to Facebook. What am I addicted to? A legal drug called caffeine.

When I was little, my mum forbid me from drinking coffee or anything with caffeine in it. She would say: "Krity, no coffee, or tiger COME EAT YOU while you sleep.." I was six years old, OFCOURSE I believed my mum.

In fact, it wasn't until first year university that I really started drinking coffee. You must be wondering what I did prior to that? I use to order hot chocolate but never dared to venture to the other side. I was tempted by the aroma of coffee beans....hmmmm But, i was able to stay a coffee virgin through out high school.

I remember when I drank coffee for real for the first time. I don't even know why I did. I guess it was peer pressure from the other law students who carried stack of books on one hand and a coffee in another. The need to "belong" allured me into the dark side. (Get it?)Any way, it was before an economics revision class. I bought a small capuccino. I didn't really like the taste, except for the frothing and chocolate powder. I didn't rate it until BAM, the caffein hit me! I started to get heart palpitations, symptoms included being extremely edgy, fidgiting and going bright red. I didn't sleep that night. Caffeine got me.

Then V came along and I WAS ADDICTED. Even when my lovely friend Krumi told me the disgusting story about a girl who got addicted to V and died, I still could not resist. V is bad, I know that for sure. Once I spilt V on our concrete floor outside my house, the next day i came back, the concrete was a lighter shade! So if you ever want to clean anything, use V.

ANYWAY, just wanted to share my addiction with you. It's so cold outside, can't wait to get my hands on a hot mug of cappuccino and a slice of strawberry cheesecake( I think coffee tastes so much better in a big mug). what's your addiction?

Feeling uninspired...

Hello friends!

Right now I am at the turning point of a positive porabola (LAME JOKE). Feeling so unmotivated. It's the busiest time of the semester, and I have literally taken my foot of the gas pedal, just chilling out instead. WHAT AM I DOING? WHY AM I writing a ridiculous blog that no one is going to read?
I have an assignment due in 2 days, and I can't even be bothered doing something for that..

Right now I have persuaded myself to go to America and study for a semester. WHy? I guess it's because i really do feel that i'm underachieving at the moment. I am disorientated. What do I want in life? Who do I want to be? I am suddenly confronted with these big questions. All through high school, I knew exactly what I wanted and how I was going to achieve that. Now faced with so many options, I am confused. Hopefully, going overseas, seeing more of the world will help me learn and discover more about people, life and myself.

Bringing this blog back to life.

I really don't expect anyone to read this, and if you do happen to stumble along and find this thing, well no harm done because you don't really know me. Having said that, every blog deserves a personal touch. So I will be divulging my secrets and sharing my opinions with you.

Who am I?
I really don't know. Sometimes I really do think I'm hilarious and intelligent, other days I lack motivation, sit around all day and do jack all.
I am currently in university, trying to complete a 5 and 1/2 years course. EEK, crazy huh? But it's as not bad as you think. I do enjoy learning and love being challenged, so really, Uni is good for me.
I have a really lame sense of humour. My idea of a joke is to poke fun at my friends. What else are they good for right?

What do I like?
At the moment, I'm in love with YOUTUBE. Has anyone seen Kevjumba? I have to admit I am currently obsessed with his vlog or whatever you call his videos online. To be honest, he is not THAT funny, or really HOT. FOr some reason I am drawn to his clips, I love how he talks and uses his hands to express himself. A+ for execution.

Enough for today! Hopefully my next post will be soon!

Bye to myself, and anyone who stumbles along and find these rambling comments.

XXOO
Kristy